I have my parents to thank for instilling a love of reading in me from a young age. I read a lot; print, preferably hard cover. Allowing for the fact that books mean different things to different people and even different things to the same people depending on where they are at in life, this list contains no “must reads.” It’s simply a catalogue of a few of the books I have read over the years that taught me something about myself or others or touched me in ways for which I am thankful.
Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships
I was first introduced to this book in 1995 during grad school. It is a dense, heady piece that is work to get through. That being said, chapter 2 is some of the best writing on the concept of differentiation that I know of. This is definitely a book that will take on new meaning with each reading.
Allies in Healing: When the Person You Love Was Sexually Abused as a Child
Laura Davis has done an exceptional job in creating this resource for partners of victims of sexual abuse. Super tough subject that can be an extremely challenging dynamic to navigate. If you are faced with this issue, I highly recommend this book and also encourage you to reach out for help from a professional.
I Thought It Was Just Me: Telling The Truth About Perfectionism, Inadequacy and Power
If you haven’t read any of Brené Brown’s work start here; then go buy the rest. Brené is one of the leading experts on vulnerability and shame and her work has begun a movement of people striving to live more authentic lives. Her writing style is personal and engaging and I have yet to talk to anyone who has read the book and not benefitted from it.
This is a thought provoking piece from Peggy Orenstein for anyone parenting a girl. You may or may not agree with some of her conclusions but it is a good read for those concerned with the health, development and future of today’s girls.
Too Good To Leave, Too Bad To Stay
If you are struggling with ambivalence about a relationship this book is a great resource for sorting through conflicting feelings and hopefully gaining some clarity. It offers practical steps and is a relatively quick and easy read.
Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work
John Gottman, Ph.D. is one of the leading experts in long term relationship research. He’s got a lot of stuff out there – books, card games, weekend workshops – but his Seven Principles book is a good place to start. It is a pretty easy read and most chapters include specific tasks and exercises for you and your partner to complete.
Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear
Elizabeth Gilbert, of Eat, Pray, Love fame, offers a unique perspective about creativity and the fears and insecurities that prevent folks from connecting with and pursuing the things that bring them joy. This is a practical easy read full of good stuff.
Stan Tatkin, Psy.D. is currently one of the leading experts in integrating neuroscience and psychology. He’s a pretty big deal. If you want to dive into attachment theory, emotional regulation and understanding your dynamics with your partner this is a great resource.
Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow
I can’t count the times I have pulled this book out and read from it aloud to a client who was struggling with grief and heart ache. If you are struggling with how to emerge from suffering I think you will find this book helpful.